Tuesday, December 28, 2004
Downer
It has been over two weeks now since this downer hit. One keeps going through these daily spirals of thought, inwards, as they discoalesce into spectacularly voided nothingness. Space.
It has been over two weeks now since this downer hit. One keeps going through these daily spirals of thought, inwards, as they discoalesce into spectacularly voided nothingness. Space.
Sunday, December 26, 2004
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Monday, December 06, 2004
Now What Did I Do?
I do not know what you intended, for yourself. I only know what it meant to me.
I do not know what you intended, for yourself. I only know what it meant to me.
Saturday, December 04, 2004
Double Bind
I did a Google on Gregory Bateson and found this rather interesting hypothesis for Schizophrenia.
I have generally been good at hoisting myself onto the rack for just about anything, all along. There is this obsessive tendency to play "Catch Yourself" which is primarily responsible. Evading own inconsistencies at all times and, under all circumstances, is fatiguing.
However, it is in my interactions with others that I find myself most affected. I am hypersensitive and hyper-reactive to their "manipulation", due to unwitting ( mostly, I guess, or else I do not know / find it difficult to judge - another tricky situation ) practice of one or more forms of the double-bind described in the link. Though it may sound outrageous at the moment - I have found it to be the case that most relationships are based on a kind of mutual double-bind. The inherent contradictions in the stated positions of partners are resolved through the fulfilment of expectations, unbidden or otherwise.
When a man and a woman decide their association should be legalised with a marriage ceremony, they pose themselves a problem which will continue through the marriage: now they are married are they stay together because they wish to or because they must?
It makes for a pause in thought, does it not?
I found myself to have gone through this process late last year, spilling into this year, after the breakdown : -
Schizophrenogenesis is complete when the victim pays a price for being caught in the double bind and demonstrates secondary adaptation accordingly. For example, the complaining 'schizophrenic-to-be' accepts internally that his complaint is invalid and realigns his beliefs with that demanded of him.
Sometimes, if I were to allow myself so, I would like to wish for people to mirror themselves and what they say/do, a bit more often - reflect upon themselves at length and in depth. It would make life a lot more bearable for the likes of us.
Finally, the complete set of ingredients is no longer necessary when the victim has learned to perceive his universe in double bind patterns. Almost any part of a double bind sequence may then be sufficient to precipitate panic or rage.
And that was the reason for the anger of the past four years.
I have generally been good at hoisting myself onto the rack for just about anything, all along. There is this obsessive tendency to play "Catch Yourself" which is primarily responsible. Evading own inconsistencies at all times and, under all circumstances, is fatiguing.
However, it is in my interactions with others that I find myself most affected. I am hypersensitive and hyper-reactive to their "manipulation", due to unwitting ( mostly, I guess, or else I do not know / find it difficult to judge - another tricky situation ) practice of one or more forms of the double-bind described in the link. Though it may sound outrageous at the moment - I have found it to be the case that most relationships are based on a kind of mutual double-bind. The inherent contradictions in the stated positions of partners are resolved through the fulfilment of expectations, unbidden or otherwise.
When a man and a woman decide their association should be legalised with a marriage ceremony, they pose themselves a problem which will continue through the marriage: now they are married are they stay together because they wish to or because they must?
It makes for a pause in thought, does it not?
I found myself to have gone through this process late last year, spilling into this year, after the breakdown : -
Schizophrenogenesis is complete when the victim pays a price for being caught in the double bind and demonstrates secondary adaptation accordingly. For example, the complaining 'schizophrenic-to-be' accepts internally that his complaint is invalid and realigns his beliefs with that demanded of him.
Sometimes, if I were to allow myself so, I would like to wish for people to mirror themselves and what they say/do, a bit more often - reflect upon themselves at length and in depth. It would make life a lot more bearable for the likes of us.
Finally, the complete set of ingredients is no longer necessary when the victim has learned to perceive his universe in double bind patterns. Almost any part of a double bind sequence may then be sufficient to precipitate panic or rage.
And that was the reason for the anger of the past four years.
