Tuesday, December 23, 2003
A Beginning
Underground*
Fyodor Dostoevsky : Notes from Underground
Underground*
I am a sick man...I am a wicked man. An unatrractive man. I think my liver hurts. However, I don't know a fig about my sickness, and am not sure what it is that hurts me. I am not being treated and never have been, though I respect medicine and doctors. What's more, I am also superstitious in the extreme; well, at least enough to respect medicine. ( I'm sufficiently educated not to be superstitious, but I am ). No, sir, I refuse to be treated out of wickedness. Now, you will certainly not be so good as to understand this. Well, sir, but I understand it. I will not, of course, be able to explain to you precisely who is going to suffer in this case from my wickedness; I know perfecly well that I will in no way "muck things up" for the doctors by not taking their treatment; I know better than anyone that by all this I am harming only myself and no one else. But still, if I don't get treated, it is out of wickedness. My liver hurts; well, then let it hurt even worse!
Fyodor Dostoevsky : Notes from Underground
