Satyre <$BlogRSDUrl$>

Friday, January 30, 2004


Reading John Gardner's Grendel. Rarely have I been so transfixed by prose...................

Catch YourSelf

Its the game that has taken over my soul..................I have to keep playing if I am to stay sane.


Finished with my woman 'cause she couldn't help me with my mind
People think I'm insane because I am frowning all the time
All day long I think of things but nothing seems to satisfy
Think I'll lose my mind if I don't find something to pacify

Can you help me occupy my brain?
Oh yeah

I need someone to show me the things in life that I can't find
I can't see the things that make true happiness, I must be blind

Make a joke and I will sigh and you will laugh and I will cry
Happiness I cannot feel and love to me is so unreal

And so as you hear these words telling you now of my state
I tell you to enjoy life I wish I could but it's too late

Black Sabbath

Friday, January 23, 2004

Thought for the Day

Free Will Determines.

Thursday, January 08, 2004


I suppose the earliest ( I could be wrong here - this is just a guesstimate ) reference to Schizophrenia could be found in the fables of The Panchatantra, in its concluding section - the story of the four men, equipped with magic quills, in search of treasure. The fourth friend does not rest with the discovery of gold, following that of copper and silver. He has to push, farther and further, till he reaches a man, bloodied face with a spinning wheel atop his head, who feels neither hunger nor the need to sleep. He asks the latter of the cause of his plight and the wheel comes and settles atop his own head - an unending torment.

Its time for me to spend a few days with the witchdoc...........

Tuesday, January 06, 2004


I suspect that the disease is manifest due to / as perception of scale which is beyond and above the bounds of the ordinary and the commonplace. Think of ants. I do not feel that humans fit into their sense of scale and proportion. We are cosmic happenings for them. Maybe even natural calamities. But not essential features of the aforementioned sense. Similarly so for picking up patterns. If you transgress the bounds of what is constrained for you, naturally, you end up as I am. Your sense of scale of the ordinary, and the commonplace, is distorted.

Schizophrenic Ant

Love Redux

Was struck with a thought about the weight of the love that most people talk of. Unconditional or Otherwise. Selfless. Selfish. No matter how you look at it - it expects a return. Acknowledgement. Receipt. If not, it causes the "giver" distress. The distress is what gives me trouble. (:) It struck me, the other day, that you give only of your_self. The weight of what (something) you give, is proportional, somehow directly, to the love that you have for your_self. If you do not love yourself, you present a void. And it is this interplay of the void and the something that gives life to a relationship. To par_take of something, there has to be a void of correspondence. Or else, that something just bounces off - wasted. Sometimes elegantly. Wasted nevertheless. And therefore, a relationship, alive, is that which sustains this interplay. Love is incomplete till you learn to partake of it gracefully. And for that, either you are void, or you create one.

Just a thought. Wasted. Entropic as usual.


Sunday, January 04, 2004

The Long and the Short of It

It is odd to hear young fellows chant - "Life is too short" and then go do whatever they want ( I suspect they'd do it anyways :) . I'd have thought that it makes more sense if the elders said so. Ironically, it seems like an unholy drag to them. I must be missing something somewhere.


Saturday, January 03, 2004

Love ?

If Love be only about giving, then what about the par_taking of it? How do you do so?
It is infinitely harder to take gracefully than it is to give. To Acknowledge and Recieve.
Could you will it?


Friday, January 02, 2004

Dead Weight ?

Weigh in the consistency of Trust against the convenience of Belief. How does it skew?

Experience It

Road to Hell

Most people, unintentionally of course, confuse intent with meaning. And they say anything anyhow. It is thereupon that we find our_selves on this road.

Bound to walk

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